If Hal Hartley wrote Batman

                                                                                                                                                                                                     

This has floated around the interwebs for some time but it appears that it's lost now. I was glad that I had saved it in a random file on a flash drive. I would love to know who originally wrote this. If you know of Hal Hartley's films (especially the film, "Simple Men"), then you should get it. 

BATMAN: Damn, where the hell did I put that bat suit?

ROBIN: Do you think Cat Woman digs me?

BATMAN: I swear I left it in the closet in the Bat Cave.

ROBIN: Don't swear; you're a role model. Maybe I should write her poetry.

BATMAN: Role models are human; and, therefore, flawed.

ROBIN: That's no excuse. Children look up to you.

BATMAN: What makes you think Cat Woman digs you?

ROBIN: That's what Alfred said.

BATMAN: How would Alfred know?

ROBIN: When was the last time Alfred was wrong?

BATMAN: Good point.

ROBIN: Thanks.

BATMAN: Think he knows where my bat suit is?

ROBIN: Probably. Why don't you ask him?

BATMAN: I would, but he's with Cat Woman right now.

ROBIN: Do you think she digs me?

BATMAN: I don't know. Why don't you write her some poetry?

ROBIN: I'm not a poet. I'm just some lame sidekick who wears funny, ugly clothes and a stupid mask that barely conceals my vacuous identity.

BATMAN: Don't take it so hard.

ROBIN: Why not?

BATMAN: I don't know. It just seemed like the right thing to say.

ROBIN: Why say anything?

BATMAN: I have to. I'm a role model.