His parents raised him to believe he was a 1986 Buick Regal.
As a child, he knew something was off by that rational. Instead of playing with other
children they were more interested in his 0 to 60 time, his handling and his rpms.
"But I look like other children." He would tell them desperately. Just trying to
get them to listen him.
"No." They would say.
"We bought you at the Steinberg dealership on highway 710. You were a lease with an
option to buy."
They were very adamant about getting rid of all thought in his head that he was a human.
They referred to Doctor checkups and physicals as tuneups. They kept a log of how far he could
walk before having to eat or drink using a pedometer. They were worried about mpg he showed, compared to the mpg that his warranty had said.
He was denied any kind of processed junk food for fear it would make him miss fire or have issues with ignition. They were also worried about taking him out on "joy rides". His father insisted he stay in the garage and made him use skin care products every day.
Later in life he'll be the first human to identify as an Autosexual, and
will be brought up on vehicular sodomy charges on a 2003 Toyota Prius.
(This mini story came from hearing a child in a supermarket making revving noises instead of talking to his parents when they asked him what he wanted to eat.)
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