Nathan Bitner, the most envied kid of 1986

What we're gonna do right here is go back. way back, back into time.
When the only people that existed were living in the 80's 
Mall Rats, Metal Heads, Geeks, Yuppies...

Alright, but really though...

It was  spring of 1986. I was in 6th grade just starting a new middle school  in a newly consolidated district. 
I was still into the trio of toy juggernauts. I am talking about G.I. Joe, Transformers, and Masters of the Universe. Although I would bounce between the three from time to time, at that time in my life. I was heavy into G.I. Joe. I wasn't supposed to bring them to school though. Not that my teacher forbid it. But almost everyone in my class was pretending to have premarital sex, (WHO ARE YOU KIDDING!? YOU ARE 12! YOU VAPID, UNREALISTIC, MORONS!!!) and acting like they were 18. I got made fun of, bullied and picked on, for bringing toys to school, so I would bring them in my backpack inside little tupperware container and the other two kids in my class that were still playing with toys, would stealthly talk about the toys, the cartoons or trade them. 

One day, I was looking through the weekly reader and came across an article about a kid who won a "Create a figure contest". And then I remembered back a year ago when it all started. I almost felt like I was the one who had won! 

A year earlier a kid in my 5th grade class came up to me with an article about creating your own hero for Mattel's Masters of the universe. I tried my hand at a villainous creature called Lynk-man, which I'd rather not talk about, thank you very much! I ended up missing the deadline for it. Later I saw this in a magazine of some sort. I can't remember where. I saw the list of characters that made it to being a toy and I knew exactly who I hoped would win. I mean come on...Netta? Compatctor? Eye-man? Brainwave? Granted, they all were better than Lynk-man...except Netta! 

The ad said, "Please ask your parents' permission first. Each call costs .50cents. Calls will be accepted through Friday, December 13, 1985" I was so excited to see who would win! (We all knew it would be camera head!)

It also said what the prizes would be if you won.

Great Prizes! 

The creator of the winning character will win: 

An actual Masters of the Universe toy made from his/her idea! 

A $100,000 college scholarship fund! 

The right to be Honorary President of Mattel Toys for a day! 

The other four finalists will win a $50,000 college scholarship fund

So me and a friend used his phone without his mom's permission and we both voted for Fearless Photog! The cyborg with a camera for a head that could steal your powers. I was one of those kids that preferred a transformer with a faceplate over a face, and a joe or cobra character with a mask on or something to hide his face, it's something that I never really figured out. So Photog, not having a human face was more than okay in my book. 

We both felt like we chose correctly and felt that we had done the universe a favor in voting for him.

I kept an eye on the paper after that. Comic books, Weekly Reader, Starlog and the news, but I didn't hear anything else about it. So then, after some rocky family turbulence and me going to a brand new school with lots of kids that got uprooted from their hometown schools and put there. I kind of forgot about Nathan and his Fearless Photog. 

So you are pretty caught up now. So I was 12, looking at some kid's Masters Of The Universe magazine in the Spring of 1986 and on page 24 there he was.

I was finally able to put a face to the name. He looked like an average kid, and didn't have a weird gleam in his eye or was seemingly sporting some seriously hyper-evolved intelligence, judging from the picture. He probably hated brussel sprouts and his mother would nag him about his daily soda intake. His picture made me feel like I was worthy of doing something like this as well and that thought made me feel good about myself. 

I was so happy for Nathan! I kind of felt like I had a hand in helping him win, like I boosted him up from obscurity. I was excited that Nathan, who looked like someone I would have been friends with, won this amazing contest. 

This figure breathed new life into my love for MOTU. I couldn't wait to see him in the toy aisle in my local toy store, Toys By Roy. I watched for the figure diligently, but never saw him on the shelves anywhere. And like all kids who enter into puberty, We discover that time span is equal to your mass and that older and bigger you get, the more time speeds up on by you, and the eternity of those three summer months between school grades, goes by in the blink of an eye and I forgot about Photog and his creator. (I found out later that Mattel 

It wasn't until around 2004, when I was working at the Public Library that I ran across him again on the internet, and got to read a little bit more about him. And later still, I found out that Mattel was putting out MOTU figures again but with better sculpting and articulation, and Fearless Photog too! 

I felt like I was living vicariously through Nathan's eyes yet again. I could imagine him looking at the new figure and feeling a sense of completion and closure, knowing that his creation finally became real. 

I was with you every step of the way, Mr. Bitner, and I am proud to see everything fall into place! 

The spark is all I need!

Insert Guitar Wailing sound here!

I got up early yesterday for the unveiling of The Cybertronic Spree's new original song called "Cybertronic Warrior". The song and the video dropped midnight on June 22, 2017. 

If you don’t know who The Cybertronic Spree is,  then you can’t rightly call yourself a Transformers fan or a true Geek. Just saying… But if you are still scratching your head then click this link to go to an interview that I had with them this year!

http://timothyzero.blogspot.com/2017/05/the-cybertronic-spree-interview.html

Rolling over and grabbing my phone my Youtube update said the video was up. I was so excited to hear it! It was like Christmas in..ah..June!  So still in bed, I pressed the play button, anxiously awaiting what would come next.

 

Steven is the lucky human in the middle. Dangit.

I knew that the video was directed by the mad man that brought us “Manborg” and “The Void”, Steven Kostanski. He’s been all over the place for a while, working steady on big films since 2005, ranging from “Capote”, to “Crimson Peak” and this years remake of Steven King’s “IT”. So I figured what ever was coming would be crazy, but in an awesome way, not a crazy, yelling at vending machines because the ghost of Henry Ford told you that gum inside was a secret key to Jupiter kind of crazy. But I digress….

I clicked on the link and under the video it read.  "Follow The Cybertronic Spree through a dangerous space fortress filled with evil cybernetic life forms hell!" I could dig this immensely!  After pressing play the song started filling my room with this driving rhythm of percussion, bass, and guitar that felt like a bolt of lighting from the matrix of leadership right to my pituitary gland! My pulse raced, my mind lurched violently forward slamming into my skull. I felt like I could win a bare knuckles fight with Grimlock!

Somebody is about to be deadsky!

I could see the Cybertronic Emblem on a massive door that slid open to a large starship coming my way. A giant robot emerges from the ship and within its cranium is the band looking amazingly epic as always! Needlessly to say, I re-watched it countless times before actually getting out of bed. And talk about earworm city! I hummed the song throughout the entire day! This song is just the essence of pure nerd joy! I dare you to listen to it and not get chill bumps! (I counted 4 times during my viewing of this video) 

I couldn't be happier with this song and video. It's got everything a big kid like me needs: autobots and decepticons jamming out, a wicked mysterious robot battling turrets, sentries and the mother of all enemy motherships! So go forth and watch it why don't ya!?

Go and see the majesty of this video now!

And if you loved the song so much you can't live without it, click this link below and purchase it! 

https://thecybertronicspree.bandcamp.com/album/cybertronic-warrior

Sunstreaker's morning routine

Sunstreaker, before a good buffing.

I live in the Ark, a spaceship that crash landed into the base of Mount St. Hilary in Oregon. My name is Sunstreaker. I'm over 4 million years old. I believe in the upkeep and care of my body and chassis and practicing Jet Judo. In the morning if my face plates are scuffed, I will use sodium fluoride which reacts with my base coat, clear coat and the scuff marks, softening them and giving it a smooth finish. This happens while I do what the humans call “kata” and “meditation”.  

After I remove the sodium fluoride with a microfiber cloth, I use a deep exfoliating enamel cleanser during my shower, after drying off I use a color brightener then a carnuba wax on my face, and body, and then I apply a metal dressing that is temperature-activated that cleans, polishes and seals all in one for 1 earth hour while I prepare the rest of my routine. I always use distilled water on my paint job because normal tap water dulls your undercoat and  makes you look like an older model. Then chrome polish that removes rust stains and restores my chrome trim, then a tire gloss that gives them a pitch black look while also a deep wet glossy appearance that repels dirt and road grime, keeping them looking spotless, followed by a final protective coat of nano-seal that reduces light absorption in my paint and increases shine and brilliance. There is an idea of a Sunstreaker; some kind of abstraction. But there is no real me: only an entity, something illusory. And though I can hide my cold gaze from my optic sensors from my fellow autobots, and you can shake my hand and feel metal gripping yours and maybe you can even sense our lifestyles are probably comparable... I simply am not there.

The Dan Bowen interview

Dan Bowen leveled up years before we even knew what that phrase was. He's the epitome of living life to the fullest. He should be the poster boy of "Get on my level!" He's a tough but humble Mofo that loves his kids and loves toys as well as kicking heads in! He first came across my radar when I found his instagram account and his Flint cosplay. I knew I had to know more about this guy so I had to pester him. lol  Here's what we talked about!
Can you tell me a bit about yourself?

 My name is Daniel Bowen I am a lifelong fan of Ninjas and superheroes.

Have you lived in California all your life? 

I was born in the deserts of Utah near Moab. Grew up in a strict Mormon household in Utah and in ID Moved out to Cali in 93 and have been here since.

When did you get into toy collecting?

I was collecting GIJOE, Star Wars, He-man, and transformers in the 80's and about 2002, I started collecting again.

When did you get into cosplay? 

I have been cosplaying since a child.  I always liked to wear costumes and props to bring my playtime adventures to life.  My first Con was Wizard World in Sac in 2014.  I found my true religion and try to go to as many cons as I can afford.

What was your first cosplay costume? 

Casey Jones is the easiest to wear and Punisher or Joker would be closest to my own mind set and easiest to get into character.  Deadpool is a fucking fool so you have got to go all out with that one.

Are you part of any cosplay group out there?

I first started cosplaying with Cobra 1st Legion a cosplay charity org in the bay area.  I created a Flint costume, My fave joe.  Since then I have joined a couple local cosplay groups.

Do you have a favorite cosplay? Which costume gets the best response at conventions?

Deadpool is probably my favorite cosplay and the one that gets the most love.  

Which character is easier for you to get into their mind set?

Casey Jones is the easiest to wear and Punisher or Joker would be closest to my own mind set and easiest to get into character.  Deadpool is a fucking fool so you have got to go all out with that one.

Did you get LadyJenbo into cosplay or was she already doing it?

I met my girlfriend Lady Jenbo through Cobra 1st Legion.  It has been a great adventure having a sexy cosplay partner in crime.

Any future cosplay projects? 

Right now I’m working on Post Apocalyptic stuff for Wasteland Weekend.

You play guitar, sing, and do martial arts, mma, cosplay...I'd say you are a pretty interesting dude! Do you have any other hidden talents that we don't know about?

As far as MMA training and Ninjitsu goes I do a little training with weapons and such, but I really need to get back into a better training schedule.

You've recently branched into toy photography, what made you go that route? Any favorite photographers out there that got you itching to get behind the lens? 

Besides music photography making short movies and such I have recently started making Action Figure Dioramas. They are so much fun to create and created great backdrops for ACBA photography.  People who inspired me are on youtube instagram and face book.  I take what i want from all of them.  Use their techniques and create my own.  

I believe doing what I love keeps me young.  Keeping my imagination alive and that childlike wonder is crucial to my happiness.

I know exactly how you feel man. Thanks so much for the Interview! 

You can find out more about Dan on the following sites:
Instagram @danboshinobi
Twitter https://twitter.com/NinjaBowen
Youtube https://www.youtube.com/channel/UC-LhyJ0wrftfBWkq7gtXiXA

Pickles and their influences on the sleeping brain.

My grandmother used to yell at me and my sisters if she caught us eating pickles before bedtime.

"You'll have nightmares!" She'd say, as if she'd been down that road pitted with trials and trauma and wanted to share her wisdom with us.

I wouldn't have none of it. "Bring them on." I would think, while chugging on some pickle juice.

Later on down the road I discovered that spicy food had affects on my dreams at night. Not all the time, but about 50 percent though. 

Last night I was feeling snacky and ate some garlic dill pickles before bed time. I didn't think anything of it after I got ready for bed and went to sleep.

I had the scariest dream about xenomorphs last night.  It totally spoiled any movie that will ever be made with the word "alien" in it. It had a Xeno that could speak English like a human girl and it lulled this scared man closer so she could whisper death to him. I may write a short story about the whole thing. Thank you pickles before bedtime! I needed some hell dreams in my life!

The Xenos had been using us for so long that it affected their DNA. They were a dull grey and smaller than cannon types. They were only about 5'10 it seemed. And they used our cries of help to confuse and lure.

In the dream, I was part of a crew on a ship that was sending all it's members down into the bowels of the vessel to get ready for cryo stasis. We were all wearing these white bodysuits with tubes all over them and a helmet that was square in shape with rounded edges was placed on our heads. Stepped onto a tight fitting bed type pod, its sides curled up around us. The conveyor was bringing us in threes down to the sleep area, and there was a giant glass door that closed after three people were brought in, they were moved along to the walls and stored away.

When the last three in front of me went in. I saw these grey figures, dozens of them, crawling about the beds and tearing the people that were strapped down, into bloody chunks.

While this was happening, some of them saw the glass door and were frantically trying to get it break or get it open.

When the automated system let the doors open, I could hear screams and alarms coming from the room, and then another louder alarm and the door that was opening quickly shut again, but not before a xenomorph got out.

The man in front of me got out of his harness and was scurrying on his back to a corner of the room. The xeno was walking over to him, but something made it stop. It placed its hands over its mouth and then shook its head like it battling dark thoughts.

"No, no." It said in an scared female voice.

"Wait, I don't..don't want to do this."

"Why is this happening?"

This creature could speak English. It didn't seem totally alien. Its lips looked more like our own. I thought it was from all the time its species was using us as gestation pods. Our own dna was slowly being assimilated by it.

"Help, help me." it said as it walked over to him. Its postured changed to frightened.

The scurrying man was still in the corner but didn't look terrified any more. He fumbled at his helmet and took it off. His gasping face looked scared still, but more confused.

The xeno got closer still to him, stopping at his feet. It crouched down to his level and held his head.

Behind them both I could see through the glass door, the creatures were still chasing down crew members and biting large holes in them, causing massive streams of blood to come out of  theri bodies and spray across the white walls of the cryo-stasis chamber.

"Help me please." It said, touching his shoulders.

It got closer to his face, its lips touching his brow.

"I have to tell you something."

Its mouth went around to his ear. Then she latched hard on to his head with its hands, and his eyes rolled back into his head, he tried to scream but frothy blood poured out of his mouth and nose.

His eyes fluttered and his head twitched to the left and I could see the xeno's second mouth was still in the hole that it bored into his skull.

Then it looked at me, and started walking over to my pod.

"Help me." it said with bloody drool on its face.

And then I woke up.

Clearly, this is what I desire the most.

Now this, is a tasty beverage

  I really want to taste a Clearly Canadian, Mountain Blackberry right now. Ah, the  Carbonated Spring Water, Cane Sugar, Natural Flavoring, and Citric Acid.  I know that there were other flavors, but I never really cared for them. The perfect combination of the sting carbonation and blackberry flavor made it a perfect drink for me.

It reminds me of being a teenager and really caring about my appearance. Not that I don't now. I just wear what I want which usually is a nerdy t-shirt, jeans and shoes of some sort.

I used lots of gel in my hair, and I looked like  an extra in the show, Parker Lewis can't lose. And I personally think that was a good thing! I was obsessed with my hair and making sure that it looked good.

What a catch! *cries* But I tried so hard!

Top button buttoned gets all the ladies. *cries* 

The beverage also makes me think of slate grey immaculate bar tops made of black or grey granite,  and track lighting, tight rolled pants wearing expensive high tops when you didn't play any sports and didn't follow any basketball teams.

My dream crib right here

Who didn't want something like this when they were a teen!?

I still want a room like this!  

I get the black furniture fad but the directors chairs? 

So yeah... That's what has been on my brain tonight. It's funny what remembering a beverage can do to one's mind.

I am really working!...Really!

Hello, 

Hope you all are well. 

Been busy writing on my G.I. Joe fan fiction as of late annnnd got sucked into Better call Saul. (such a great show!) Close to the finish line for my story. So that's good. I am going to send it off to Kindle Worlds when I am through. Man, Kindle Worlds have some strange rules for writing G.I. Joe. Like: 
"The character, Snake Eyes, shall never be depicted or described as a fan of the New York Yankees."

Okaayy.  

But yeah, it's about a Motor Viper and how he became the most feared and admired driver in the ranks of Cobra.  

In the interview news. I got three close to being done and should be posting one very soon. So keep your eyes peeled for that. 

Just been super stinking busy. 

Make sure not to overdose on Bifidobacterium and lactobacillus. It makes your mother and I very worried when you get into those "Gut Flora" cults. 

Timothy Zero